As a parent, you want to set your child up for a healthy and happy adulthood. Although all parents make mistakes, you probably try your best to avoid doing anything that will cause long-term damage to your children.
An unfortunately high number of adults in miserable marriages stay with their partner because they have heard about how disastrous divorce can be for children. It is true that divorce can have negative impacts on the emotional health and social development of children. However, it is also true that divorce does not have to be absolutely devastating for your children if you try to protect them.
A common concern about getting divorced is the idea that they will model divorce for their children. Are your kids more likely to have unsuccessful marriages if you and your ex get divorced now?
Statistics used to imply that divorce was inherited
Unlike many of the common myths about divorce, the belief that children were more likely to divorce if their parents got divorced is rooted in statistical evidence. Researchers discovered that children of divorced parents were more likely to get divorced than peers whose parents remained married.
The discrepancy in divorce rate between children from divorced parents and children whose parents stayed married has decreased substantially in recent decades. More modern research indicates that the increased risk for divorce among kids whose parents split up is only 1.2 times that of their peers with parents who remained married.
Staying together for the kids can do more harm than good
If divorce is contentious, the anger between parents and the pressure that the children feel to take sides can certainly have negative psychological effects. However, if you and your ex try to shield your children from the drama of divorce, having relationships with both parents who share custody can be easier on kids than living with parents who constantly fight or talk badly about one another.
Staying together just because you don’t want to expose your children to divorce could instead expose them to constant fighting and tension in the household, which could be as dangerous, if not worse, then the drama and potential damage of a divorce.